She had worked all the harder because she had a specific goal, even if she herself hadn't realize the root of it was far closer than being a good child of Mother Russia. She wanted to make him proud, to make him be able to say he'd been correct in singling her out for special attention. That wasn’t right though was it? She was not special, she was an asset of the state. But he told her she was singularly capable, proved she was better than others.
She tried hard to reconcile the idea of being special when they were all taught that they were just another piece of the greater machine. But she felt different, superior to the others. He had encouraged that in her, the independent thought, actions beyond the standard response. She was becoming an individual, with it came a greater freedom which had yet not been called out but had been noticed.
Winter Soldier’s influence had not been noticed, at least not that either was aware of. She had learned early on that these visits were reserved for her and she felt special for them, no surprise that her name on his lips had become almost Pavloian in her reaction, she smiled. That radiance that was his alone and only in moments like these. She quickly ushered him inside as he explained his visit, the smile faltered and fell. She was…disappointed? Sad? This was new for her, she was used to people coming and going in the program, but this was different.
He’d come to tell her he was leaving. Of course he was, such an asset could not be expected to train ones like herself, not when there was important work to be done. Of course he would be called away, she’d only been lucky to have avoided it this long. Lucky? She was puzzled and her face showed it as she tried to riddle through these reactions, these…feelings about what he’d said.
“But… you will come back.” Her words came in a rush, her hands brushed over his arm, the pretext of helping him fully inside but the truth of her was beyond the grasp of her own confused mind. She needed reassurance that he would come back, come back to her.
no subject
She tried hard to reconcile the idea of being special when they were all taught that they were just another piece of the greater machine. But she felt different, superior to the others. He had encouraged that in her, the independent thought, actions beyond the standard response. She was becoming an individual, with it came a greater freedom which had yet not been called out but had been noticed.
Winter Soldier’s influence had not been noticed, at least not that either was aware of. She had learned early on that these visits were reserved for her and she felt special for them, no surprise that her name on his lips had become almost Pavloian in her reaction, she smiled. That radiance that was his alone and only in moments like these. She quickly ushered him inside as he explained his visit, the smile faltered and fell. She was…disappointed? Sad? This was new for her, she was used to people coming and going in the program, but this was different.
He’d come to tell her he was leaving. Of course he was, such an asset could not be expected to train ones like herself, not when there was important work to be done. Of course he would be called away, she’d only been lucky to have avoided it this long. Lucky? She was puzzled and her face showed it as she tried to riddle through these reactions, these…feelings about what he’d said.
“But… you will come back.” Her words came in a rush, her hands brushed over his arm, the pretext of helping him fully inside but the truth of her was beyond the grasp of her own confused mind. She needed reassurance that he would come back, come back to her.