"I would have felt your absence." No rush this time in her words, but she was still not sure how appropriate any of this was. Still he had not censured her for her words, so she took that as implied approval.
Again he would halt his words, as if the thought was unfinished even to himself. He was never like this in training. Always cool and in command, but with her there seemed to be another side of him. It was a side that allowed him to be more the man and less the soldier. What did that make her then, she wondered.
When they began these secret meetings his first lesson had been to observe herself. To learn her reactions, and she had. She'd learned much and put it into her combat style, it had helped just as he said. But she'd also monitored herself in all aspects, including around him in these moments. She'd discovered interesting things. Her physical reaction was of no surprise, they had been advised of things like that.
Sexual response had to be recognized, so one was aware and able to deal with it. She knew she found him physically attractive so any arousal in that could be conditionally dealt with. But there was a different aspect between them, at least for her. She found herself wanting to be near him. Wanting to talk to him, spend time with him, to know him and about him. She hung on his every word in training, looking for the slightest glimpse of who he was beyond the Soldier. When they were together like this things became more clear as neither had to share attention with others.
She knew she was attracted to him, for so many reasons. She'd be a fool not to be, he was an ideal sort of soldier?..sort of man. But there was that deeper thing, that thing that nagged at her. It was what made her heart beat faster when he told her he was going away. It made her mind scramble for all she knew of Africa and the dangers he might face there. And it made her heart leap when he promised to come back, come back to her.
For as observant as she had been she hadn't notice how either of them seemed to gravitate toward the other. But she was markedly closer, enough that had she reached out she could rest a hand against his chest and feel his heart beat. Instead she remained obediently still, though the discomfort in her stance was obvious. She was not one to be still outside of necessity. She tipped back her head to look up to him, those brown eyes were so soft and warm, as though she could wrap herself up in the shade and never be cold again.
"Comrade," She hated addressing him like this, and it derailed her following thought. "What is your name? If you are to be taken away from me I would like at least that to have in your absence."
She was shocked by her own boldness, where had that come from? She never took such initiative, but it felt right, it felt good. Perhaps she was over stepping bounds but maybe it was time to. Between them she could and it would be alright, wouldn't it? He'd told her she needed to think and act on her own, and she had in a shockingly powerful way.
no subject
Again he would halt his words, as if the thought was unfinished even to himself. He was never like this in training. Always cool and in command, but with her there seemed to be another side of him. It was a side that allowed him to be more the man and less the soldier. What did that make her then, she wondered.
When they began these secret meetings his first lesson had been to observe herself. To learn her reactions, and she had. She'd learned much and put it into her combat style, it had helped just as he said. But she'd also monitored herself in all aspects, including around him in these moments. She'd discovered interesting things. Her physical reaction was of no surprise, they had been advised of things like that.
Sexual response had to be recognized, so one was aware and able to deal with it. She knew she found him physically attractive so any arousal in that could be conditionally dealt with. But there was a different aspect between them, at least for her. She found herself wanting to be near him. Wanting to talk to him, spend time with him, to know him and about him. She hung on his every word in training, looking for the slightest glimpse of who he was beyond the Soldier. When they were together like this things became more clear as neither had to share attention with others.
She knew she was attracted to him, for so many reasons. She'd be a fool not to be, he was an ideal sort of soldier?..sort of man. But there was that deeper thing, that thing that nagged at her. It was what made her heart beat faster when he told her he was going away. It made her mind scramble for all she knew of Africa and the dangers he might face there. And it made her heart leap when he promised to come back, come back to her.
For as observant as she had been she hadn't notice how either of them seemed to gravitate toward the other. But she was markedly closer, enough that had she reached out she could rest a hand against his chest and feel his heart beat. Instead she remained obediently still, though the discomfort in her stance was obvious. She was not one to be still outside of necessity. She tipped back her head to look up to him, those brown eyes were so soft and warm, as though she could wrap herself up in the shade and never be cold again.
"Comrade," She hated addressing him like this, and it derailed her following thought. "What is your name? If you are to be taken away from me I would like at least that to have in your absence."
She was shocked by her own boldness, where had that come from? She never took such initiative, but it felt right, it felt good. Perhaps she was over stepping bounds but maybe it was time to. Between them she could and it would be alright, wouldn't it? He'd told her she needed to think and act on her own, and she had in a shockingly powerful way.