cold_shoulder: (Thoughts in the night)
James "Bucky" Barnes ([personal profile] cold_shoulder) wrote 2012-04-28 05:49 am (UTC)

"You won't." The answer was immediate, his expression darkening a little. "The training won't be easy, either. There will probably be casualties. How bad... will depend on how good everyone is." It wasn't much of a warning, really, it was survival training and she would have probably guessed it would be pushing them. "If anything, the fact that you'll be staying longer means you'll get the brunt of difficulty. It's...

"It won't be very much better when they're gone, either." They wouldn't be alone then, not completely.

Except that it would be better. He didn't know the words or the reasons, but he knew it would be.

He didn't know what he was doing, anymore. He was way too aware of himself to not realize that, but he didn't know why. And he didn't know if he should say so - a part of him wanted to lay open for her so she knew, too; another part - the long-standing instructor-trained part - was firmly against that idea.

In the end, he sighed, looking down at their hands - which was difficult with the after-image of that smile on her face, but he did.

"Natalia. This will be... difficult. And it won't ever stop being difficult. And the best we can hope for is that they'll put a stop on it, one way or another. The worst..." Eyes twitched up, but he didn't cringe. "They're unlikely to really want to waste either of us as a resource. And there are things worse than death.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

Even if he knew that experience is on his side, and he should make the call. Break this off. That since he was here, since he wasn't letting go of her, that of itself would be urging her to not pull back - as instructor and... otherwise. (His lips tingled with the memory of her kiss...)

But he had to give her the option. It was only fair.

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